IT IS WHAT IT IS!!!!!

It is what it is!!!!!! When Rex got diagnosed  with Cancer that was our saying. Instead of moping and being depressed about it all, we would say "It is what it is,". So we just had to suck it up and deal with it. Sometimes I stop and say that now, but it doesn't seem as easy now to say it!

Last Sunday when I started this blog, it was one of the worst days I have  had felt since Rex  died. I h cried the entire day. I couldn't hardly even talk on the phone .Sundays are really hard for me since that is the day he died and it is a quiet day. Going to church is hard, people are sweet and mean well, but when they ask me how I'm doing and what am I doing I just loose it and cry.   Since last Sunday I have prayed so hard that it would somehow get easier, because I could not continue to have days like that. I can say that for some reason this week has been a little easier. I feel more comforted this week. I have tried to change my attitude. I have had some great talks with good friends and have listened and taken their advice.  I have been a nervous wreck about selling my house before I move in a month. Where am I moving to, what will I do? How will I financially be able to deal with what is a head of me? How to do it all? My parents, my family? So much on my plate and I am still haven't dealt with my sweet husband leaving my side. As my friend said "What is the worse that can happen"?

I have written my resignation from work. Great people I have worked with and for in the last 5 years. The goodbyes that are ahead of me make my heart hurt.

 When we got married 16 years ago, we lived in the same ward we do now. I have had some of these friends for along time. These friends have become my family. When you live outside of Utah and away from family, you have to make and depend on others. I will admit I am a little nervous about moving back with Utah Mormons, when I was first divorced and went to church, the women there were not very nice to me. I was told after I moved that I was a thereat to some of the women, because I had a good job and dressed nice and carried myself well. It hurt to go to church back then, because no one would talk to me, I would pray for just someone to talk to me, I went because I had a little girl to take and wanted to set a foundation for her. I pray that this time being a "Widow". It will be easier.

This week there has been quite a few  house showings. I have stayed busy at work. I had decided since it was Mother's Day, I just couldn't handle going to church  with all the families together, so I listened to scriptures and decided to go to the Dallas Arboretum by myself. It was a nice day, I walked around, looked at the beautiful flowers and exhibits. Talked with all of my family. My beautiful daughter/son-in-law and sweet baby McCoy!!!!! The house was  being shown today. When I got home found out there is an offer on my house!  Talisa and Blake have found us a house to move into in SLC! So all in all it has been a pretty good week! Since Rex has died, I think this is the first Sunday I haven't been  tears, so to me that is making progress!!!!!

I continue to pray for guidance, I know the Lord is blessing me and Rex is helping me. I try to keep my head up and keep moving.

So today was a good day!!!!