I thought I couldn't get more stressed than when Rex got cancer and died, but I was wrong. It is a different stress, but I feel more stressed. When he was sick and getting sicker, I had one thing to think of, taking care of him and making him comfortable.During that time I was in a tunnel, trying to stay between the lines. Now I have had the house to sell, which the 2nd contract was accepted, waiting to close hopefully at end of month!!! Met the wonderful people who are buying it and I feel good about it. But still very hard emotionally dealing with it. I have had alot of business things to deal with, get rid of stuff, sell stuff, pack and pack and find place to live in Utah!!!!. Had a last pool Memorial Day party here. So many wonderful friends and family here. I had to come in the house many times so no one could see me crying. Last year we had a party and celebrated Rex's birthday at same time. So it was first Memorial Day and Rex's birthday. Hard day!!! So check list has been sell house, check, sell Rex's truck, check, find place to live in SLC, check. Sell Rex's lawn mower, check, sell couches, check, sell BBQ, check. Tomorrow is my last day at work, check!! So many memories with my sweet husband going out the door. I have to keep saying it is only a house, it is only things. I have his memories and his love to hold on to right? So many memories with my friends. I refuse to say good bye, only see you later. Now it is pack, pack, throw away, donate, pack, wrap, pack!!! Will it all fit?????? Talisa and McCoy and Blake's mom Lisa came out on May 30th to help pack. So thankful for Lisa, she was like a bull dog packing. So grateful for my sweet daughter. Got so much done, I'm so grateful . McCoy is so busy, but is in the stage he wants to have his momma in sight all the time!!!! So hard to get things done.
My dad is worse now and at home, I will be going to take care of him and my mom for a while, so the nurse's job continues. My heart hurts to think what is in store in the next few months. Somedays, I just want to stay in bed and have a pitty party. I am so tired of dealing with stressful situations. Does life ever get easier and non-stressful? I 'm not asking for much, but I would like to finish dealing with one death and life change before the next.
I so need a day of vacation or week. Anything or just letting someone take care of me. But I guess that is not in the cards right now. But maybe I want a different hand dealt to me, but then I see or talk to someone and realize it can always get worse. I pray hard, sometimes harder than before, for more people now, so many in need of so much. I do beleive in miracles and pray that those that need them can recieve them. So I feel I am back in the tunnel, trying to stay between the lines.
They say what doesn't kills us makes it stronger, so I expect to jump buildings in a single jump soon!!!!
Moving on...........
Pool party so many great friends and family!!!!
Sweet McCoy and Talisa , so thankful to have them here with me!!!
